


Truth and Betrayal

by carolelained



Category: X-Files - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:11:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of my very early Mulder/Krycek stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth and Betrayal

Truth and Betrayal   
By CarolelaineD

I tried to relax on the train that was heading towards college. I hated new places, not knowing anyone and all alone.  
I sat there thinking about my own deep dark past, I believed my mother and father were still alive in Russia but could no longer be certain of anything, shit I had been in America for four long years. I had spent the first 14 years of my life in Russia and my childhood had been rough at times due to the lack of money. When I left my only reminder of my past life was my name, Alex Artzen.

Little did I know the day that cancerous bastard showed up in my life it would change for the worse. Cancerman had offered my Mother and Father the chance to give their only son a future, and an education in America. Furthermore, he promised to provide money to assist them and for travelling to visit me. My parents had believed Cancerman and loved me enough to let me go.  
Fuck I really wished that they had said no.

As it turned out there were 8 children between the ages of ten and sixteen who would all be going to America.  
From the day we all arrived in the U.S.A. I was never to see the other seven children again.

At first I assumed everything might work out ok, apart from my stepfather smoking too much and his strict rules.  
I had a big mouth and never knew when to keep it shut until the beatings started.  
I guess you could say he gave me a home and I should behave and act accordingly, I was not stupid and I knew one day he would want something in return.

That day came two years later shit; I was only sixteen and told I had to earn my way in life. He also told me I was his and would do whatever he wanted.  
Fuck he even said if I was to disobey him that I would just vanish.  
I just agreed with whatever he said as it was easier.

One week later I found out my fate and what Cancerman wanted when  
I awoke to find him yelling at me.

"Get up you lazy little shit; you are 16 now and old enough for payback."

I wondered now I was 16 just what I was old enough to do, but I remained quiet.

"I want you up and smartly dressed for dinner. You have one hour Alex."

I lay there watching as he walked out, oh please not another boring dinner with all his old boring fuckin friend's.  
Well, after a shower and dressing in my best suit I went down for dinner.

I got quite a shock when his friends actually talked to me and for once I felt really grown up. Even so, as usual my happiness was short lived.

The wine flowed freely and I was getting pissed when I overheard Cancerman, shit he was asking his friends if I would make a pretty whore.  
I wanted to throw up, but instead I stood up and opened my big mouth.

"Leave me the fuck alone, I am not a fuckin whore you bastard."

"Alex please calm down and behave, I am sorry everyone but it appears my stepson is drunk."

"Fuck you and leave me alone, I am a fuckin person not a fucktoy."

I felt rough hands grab me from behind forcing me back on the chair.

"Please I am not a whore don't do this."

Cancerman sat and spoke so calmly. 

"Alex it will be all right, it was just a test to see if you are a fighter or not.  
We want you on our side and you have proven yourself, please Alex no hard feeling's let us have another drink."

Well like an idiot, well he was my stepfather and I believed him.  
That drink was the last thing I remembered for sometime.  
Suddenly, someone was talking to me......

Shit I was no longer 16 in that cold room anymore.  
I realized, I was still on the train on my way to an education and a future,  
I was 18 and happy it had been a memory that was all.

Over 2 hour's later I arrived at my destination and was given a room.  
There was no sign of my roommate however I prayed that he would be ok.

I unpacked and lay on my own bed then the door opened, fuck he was drop dead gorgeous.

"Hi Mulder's, the name pleased to meet you."

"Likewise my name's Alexander Arntzen, but everyone call's me Alex."

"Ok but I am only known as Mulder no one ever uses my first name."

"Mulder's fine but won't you at least tell me what's your first name."

"If I really must Alex, it's Fox."

"Ok I promise it will be Mulder only."

"Great now we have that sorted out we will get on just fine."

I soon learned that Mulder was very popular and a top sportsman.  
Shit I felt like nothing in comparison to Fox, I always thought of him as Fox but called him Mulder.

Time went by, and Fox became my one and only true friend as I was very shy. He had planned a night out with his friend's and even invited me along, shit I was so happy and finally had a normal life. Mulder's friends were stuck up but I coped.

After a great night out we returned to our own room with more beer.

"Do you want another beer Alex?"

"Yeah go on then Mulder."

I held out my hand and took the bottle and drank the cool liquid, I noticed Fox was watching me again. Shit he had been doing it all night so I decided to go sit on my bed, fuck I was pissed and Fox decided to sit down right beside me.

"Can we talk Alex man to man?"

"Ok Mulder if we must."

"Alex what turns you on, sexually I mean."

Shit I nearly choked on my beer.

"Please Mulder I am way too drunk to answer all your questions."

"Ok Alex I will make it easy for you, just answer me one question then."

"Go on then one question only."

"Yeah but I want an honest answer Alex."

"Mulder can you just ask the fuckin question."

"Do I turn you on sexually?"

Fuck fuck I was unable to breath and looked away.  
As much as I wanted him I had never had sex willingly, only raped.

"Well they say actions speak louder than words, please Alex look at me."

"Please Fox just leave me alone."

"I really like you Alex, please don't be ashamed of how you feel about me."

I finally looked at Fox then I felt his lips on mine as he kissed me. Fuck Fox was unfastening my shirt and playing with my nipple, everything was happening so fast and within no time we were both naked.

Fuck I felt his finger enter my anal passage hard as he had used no lube or anything, it hurt so bad I screamed only to be silenced as my face was shoved in the pillow.  
Fox was rough stretching me before forcing his hard cock deep within me, the pain was extreme I wanted this to end all I wanted was love not this, anything but this.

I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he rammed hard into me hitting my prostate, fuck before I knew it I came that was when Fox spoke and it all went wrong, just a few words were all it took.

"You're my little whore Alex."

Then I was suddenly 16 again back in that cold room, I had believed Cancerman but I guessed he must have spiked my drink. It took a while to figure out where I was, shit there were metal poles set apart from one another both had restraints. I realized, I was stretched out and restrained unable to move at all.  
I was naked and cold and left to wait, that was when I heard that cancerous bastard's voice and I realized he was talking to me.

"Nice of you to join us Alex."

"Fuck you just let me go."

All in good time Alex we need to talk as you upset my guest's and need a lesson in behaviour...”

I refused to scream as I felt the whip, fuck it hurt like hell as I was hit repeatedly.  
Cancerman just sat watching me, as for the man with the whip I had never seen him before. Finally, it stopped and I just hung there in extreme pain.

"I think that will be enough don't you Alex, you see you are my whore and if my friend's want something you obey."

"Over my dead body you sick fuck."

"Believe me Alex that can be arranged."

"Do it then you fuckin bastard, KILL ME THEN."

"It's ok Alex, I have a few more plans first."

Cancerman turned to the man holding the whip.

"That will be enough get him cleaned up, oh and don't forget to use the salt."

I was left hung there cut and bleeding as both men left the room.  
Cancerman returned and sat back in his chair fuck he must be one sick bastard, when the other man started cleaning my wounds that was when I screamed.

"Fuck you I will kill you for this."

"Do you really think that you are in any position to make threats?"

"Fuck you."

"Well I guess we will try the next step then Alex."

Oh fuck I felt the rough hands grab my cock and slide the cock ring on, oh shit no anything but rape my mind could not focus on anything.

"You will learn Alex how to please other people, what you want means nothing at all."

I saw the huge vibrator, and I mean huge, fuck I wanted to pass out.  
The pain as it was rammed into my backside repeatedly,  
Fuck I would spit in two soon as I had never had sex of any kind in my life and was still a virgin.  
I realized, I was screaming and crying.

"Please I can't take any more just make it end."

"Do you give in Alex and will you do as I say."

"Yes please just stop."

"Well you see Alex, I don't believe you and when I let you go you will try to kill me."

"Please I promised I would behave."

Shit Cancerman switched on the TV that was in the room and pressed play on the video.  
As long as I shall live, I will never forget that image of my own mother and father tied and held at gunpoint.

"You see Alex, I have my own insurance to make you do what I say."

I had to admit total defeat, I swear I will get revenge one day.  
Cancerman stood then kissed me on the cheek.

"You're my little whore Alex."

I lost it big time, I felt the hot body on top of me and kept hearing those words, my little whore Alex.  
I shoved him and punched him repeatedly shit I was unable to stop myself.

That was when I realized it was not Cancerman, oh fuck what had I just done. Fox laid there unconscious and covered in blood while I sat there crying.

Fox slowly came awake, however he backed as far away from me as he could.

"You're a fuckin nut case Alex does this also turn you on."

"Please Fox I am so sorry I don't know what happened,  
Please let me help you."

"The only thing I want from you Alex is to be left the fuck alone."

"Please Fox."

"Shut up and don't ever touch me again."

What could I do or say that would make it right, I just lay there and cried myself to sleep?

I had woken first to find Fox beside me, fuck why was he here after what had happened, I lay still afraid to move and turned away from him, Shit I felt his arm go around me.

"Please Alex talk to me."

"Why are you in my bed Fox?"

"Look you seemed upset and was having a nightmare; I just wanted to calm you down."

"Ok but why are you still here now."

"Do you want me to go away?"

"Shit Fox you were the one who said I was never to touch you again."

"Look maybe if you talk it might help."

"I am sorry but I can't, please just hold me Fox."

Fox held me tight in his arms hell maybe we could work this out.

"I really do like you a lot Alex, fuck you are so sexy and gorgeous.  
If I am honest I want to make a go of this, but how about you what do you want.

"You really want a relationship with me?”

"Fuck of course I do Alex and this time we can take it real slow.  
I was drunk and had no right to treat you like that, I am so sorry."

We shared a long deep kiss and got up to the day ahead.

Everything went well for the next few months as we both studied hard and only kissed after that first time. Fox had never mentioned what I had done, as far as he was concerned it was over.

"Do you fancy going out tonight Alex or staying in."

I thought about it not that I cared since Fox was there.

"Ok Fox we can stay in tonight then and get takeaway."

"Sounds fine I will get the beer, and you can order pizza."

Fox went out for beer while I ordered pizza and searched the videos.  
Shit I soon realized we only had two choices, sci fi or porn.  
Oh well I put some sci fi film on and waited for Fox.

"I have got plenty of beer how long until the pizza arrives."

"About another ten minutes."

"Ok Alex I'm going to get changed."

Fox returned wearing just a pair of skimpy short's and sat on the small sofa,  
He gave a beer to me and opened his own, we had just settled down when the knock came.

"I will get it." Fox jumped up.

"Like hell you will just sit down Fox."

"Shit Alex calm down."

I strode over to the door and collected the pizza then put it on the table.  
Fox was sat on the sofa pouting.

"What have I done Alex?"

"Fox you are dressed in next to nothing for fuck's sake, shit you don't leave much to the imagination."

"I believe you are acting jealous."

"No I am not."

"Just be honest Alex you don't like other men looking at me."

"Fuck you Fox it's not funny watching other men staring at you."

"Alex I belong with you and only you get to touch me."

"Fox shut up and eat the god dam pizza please."

We remained quiet for sometime just eating pizza and drinking.  
I watched Fox drink from the bottle, fuck what I would give to have them luscious lips around my cock. Shit I realized Fox was watching me.

"Kiss me Fox."

"Anytime babe."

Fox kissed me and entered my mouth with his own tongue; the taste was of Fox and beer. Fuck I was so turned on after no sex for months.  
I kissed him back until we had to part for air.

"I believe I am in love."

Shit I realized that I had spoken out loud, shit what if Fox believed that I am pathetic.

"Don't worry Alex, I am in love with you too."

I felt relieved and scared, shit Fox really loved me, we kissed and finished off the beer.

"Fuck you are one hell of a turn on in those short's Fox."

Fox started to remove them then stood naked.

"Do I still turn you on without them Alex."

"Fuck it Fox are you trying to finish me off here."

"Take all your clothes off Alex now."

I did as I was told and stood in front of him naked.

"Hell you are gorgeous Alex, I love you so much."

"I love you too Fox."

"Go lay down on the bed Alex, I will only be minute."

"Do you want me Alex?"

"Please just fuck me Fox."

"All in good time babe."

Fox lay on top of me kissing my lips then each nipple in turn, then  
He shoved a pillow under my backside and applied the lube to his own fingers, then worked them slowly into my ass.

"Please Fox don't tease me I want you now, please I love you."

I was losing it as Fox replaced his finger with his own large hard cock.

"Its ok babe come for me, feel me in you Alex you're mine."

Oh fuck please not now not again.

I had slipped back to 16 year old again, cuffed to a bed naked.  
Shit I could feel the hot sweaty body on top of me, fucking me so hard.  
I wanted to scream then the voice's returned.

"Good boy Alex take what's given to you and relax, your mine Alex and always will be."

I had learned early that Cancerman liked to watch and seemed turned on by it.  
I was 16 with a future but here I was yet again, getting raped and fucked over by strangers.

The anger grew within me fuck I could not take any more, I bit the man's lip hard drawing blood and then the anger overtook me.  
I flipped the man over onto the bed and lay punch after punch in to him until I had no energy left to carry on.

For the first time in my life I felt like I had lost a huge part of myself, Shit I was no longer 16 and the body was not that of some old sweaty man,  
Laying in a pool of blood and motionless was my dear Fox. I grabbed the phone and called for an ambulance, shit what had I done.

I sat there praying Fox would survive, Fuck they had turned me into a monster, finally the ambulance men arrived and put Fox in the waiting vehicle.  
I rode in the ambulance with Fox and refused to leave his side.  
He had only been at the hospital a few minutes when the police arrived and cuffed me, shit I was to be charged with grievous bodily harm.

Fuck I was left in a cold damp cell not even knowing if Fox was alive.  
Finally I was led to a room with a table and some chairs, I learned that I was to be charged with G .B H on one Fox William Mulder which had resulted in a broken nose, three broken ribs and various cut's and bruises.

They told me that Mr. Mulder had not woken up and if he was to die it would be manslaughter.  
I admitted the crime and was returned to my cell, fuck if Fox dies there would have to be a way to end my own sad pathetic life.  
I was to spend the next two day's locked up while no one told me if Fox was dead or alive.

I heard the cell door open and saw the police officer.

"You are free to leave Mr. Arntzen."

"Shit what do you mean?"

"Mr. Mulder refuses to press any charges against you, so we have no case."

Within one hour I arrived back at the hospital to see Fox, I could not hold back the tears when I saw him, shit saw what I had done to the man I claimed to love.

"Please don't cry Alex it will be ok."

"Shit Fox why are you saying sorry after what I did, fuck I could have killed you."

"But you never Alex, I'm alive and still love you."

"Fuck it Fox, please don't say that you love me, I am a monster."

"You’re not a monster you just need help."

"Yeah like a straight jacket and a padded cell."

"Please Alex let me help you."

"No I am not worth it Fox, you can do better than me."

"Do you really love me Alex?"

"With all my heart Fox why."

“So it will be worthwhile getting help then."

"Look it's time I left Fox, fuck I need a shower after that police cell."

"Don't stay away too long Alex, I love you so much."

"Well just remember whatever happens, you will always be my gorgeous Fox, I love you so much babe."

I blew Fox a kiss and left the hospital to return to college. I packed my stuff and wrote a letter for Fox as I knew that it would be easier this way.

My gorgeous Fox,  
I love you so much it was best I left.  
Shit I could have killed you and how do I know one day I won't.  
It's my entire fault; please don't blame yourself for any of this.  
Maybe I do need help but I can't, I have my reasons for who I am but it's complicated.  
I am what I am, if I got help, he would kill me.  
I am not making much sense, but this is so hard Fox.  
Believe me you will be better off without me in your life, god my hearts breaking here.  
I hope you find the life you deserve with someone you love.  
Please, I beg of you just remember the good times when we laughed and kissed.  
I love you so much that I have to let you go.  
My darling Fox, you will always be in my thoughts.  
Goodbye babe  
Love,  
Alex XX

I had left the note for Fox and returned to the only home I knew, fuck I wished the cancerous bastard had died while I was away.

"I see you have returned home Alex."

"Like I even had a choice, and you knew that."

"You messed up Alex, from what I heard you nearly killed a man."

"So what's it to you."

"Because I wanted you to have an education for the future."

"Fuck you."

"No it's ok Alex, I don't want to be fucked, only little whores let men fuck them."

"You are sick bastard, I never let them do it, and it was rape."

"Just face it Alex you're a whore."

"What do you want from me?"

"Well as you don't seem fit to be in society, I will arrange a tutor for you.

No more was said, I knew that I had no choice.

I was taught well even passing all my qualifications to become an FBI agent, I had spent the last few years learning and being Cancerman's whore. I had not seen my parents for over 14 years now and believed them to be dead. I realized that I had been miles away when Cancerman threw a folder in front of me.

"Read it Alex as this is the job I want you to do, we have a Rogue agent within the FBI so you must gain his trust then destroy him, this is for your country Alex."

"Why not just kick him out then."

"He is a crusader it would draw too much attention to us, just do as you are told Alex as you start in the morning."

Cancerman walked out leaving me holding the folder.

I sighed and sat down opening the folder, fuck after 10 years I found myself staring at the face of Fox Mulder. He was a little older but still gorgeous fuck how could I face Fox again, I had no choice and realized that I was fucked either way.

I sat back and read the folder learning what had become of Fox. The file stated Fox was single at present and in no relationships, fuck I had read about Diana Foley and wondered if Fox had gone straight. I realized after leaving Fox that I had changed my surname and was now using my mother’s maiden name.  
I was no longer Alexander Arntzen, I was Alex Krycek.

My mission was to destroy Fox Mulder, I now knew why Cancerman had chosen the FBI as a career for me. I was just a fuckin puppet with Cancerman pulling the strings, god I needed sleep. I could not believe I would soon be face to face with the man I was still deeply in love with.  
I reached the FBI headquarters and went to find Fox or spooky as he was now known, I noticed him before he even saw me and realized that he was still gorgeous.

"Agent Mulder."

Fox was out of his seat in seconds, and I was pinned to the wall.

"You bastard Alex 10 fuckin years and you just show up."

"Please Fox, I had no choice in leaving you."

"All you needed was help shit, I even offered. I loved you so much yet you left me alone"

"Please Fox, we have a car waiting, we can talk later...”

"Where are we going to Alex as I assumed they were punishing me?"

"Maybe they are, as its some shitty boring stakeout."

"Just fuckin great."

I went to the car with Fox and realized that I had a hard on, shit it was when Fox pinned me against the wall.  
We both remained silent on the drive to the warehouse.

"It's a dump how long are we here for Fox."

"Look Alex this is a stakeout not a night in some posh hotel, oh and one other thing don't call me Fox anymore."

"Fuck you Mulder."

"We have a job to do so just shut up Alex. I will deal with you after work"

"Fine I won't speak to you, oh and by the way Mulder the names Krycek."

"For fucks sake who's being bitchy now Alex.  
Did the girlfriend piss you off or something?"

"You fuckin bastard you know that I'm gay, and the name is Krycek."

"Poor Alex are you getting upset."

"That's it Fox, I will fuckin punch you in a minute."

"Well it's not like you have never hit me before Alex."

"I fucking hate you Fox, and you knew I was sorry for that."

"You beat the shit out of me then just fucked off."

"I really don't need this now, just call me what the fuck you want."

"Ok babe let's get some air."

Fox had left the warehouse before I could even reply; all I could do was follow him.  
I had caught up to Fox but then he just stopped dead in front of me. Causing me to smack right into him, he never turned around but spoke to me quietly.

"Alex where's your gun."

"In my fuckin hand why is there something up."

"Yeah you could say that Alex, and I guess by the hard object that's pushed into my backside I still turn you on."

"Fuck you Fox do you really want me to be honest with you."

"You know I do Alex."

"I always have loved you, hell I still love you and I am falling apart working with you."

"Are you saying that you don't want to work with me Alex?"

"No that's not what I am saying, just don't lead me on Fox please."

"Shit I am sorry Alex, we will have a drink tonight as we have a lot to talk about."

"Ok about 8pm but let's leave it until then and work."

Things never went as planned, we were both kept busy with the Cole case. I felt like shit as I had murdered an unarmed man, I know that Cole projected the image in my head. Shit I really believed that Fox was going to be killed. I guess in a way it had given Fox time to adjust to my return, so we planned to have a night to finally talk.  
We spent the rest of the day back at headquarters doing paperwork.  
Fox left and went home but I had to see someone.

Fuck I hated it in this smoky room.

"Well how does it appear to be coming along Alex, do you believe Mulder will like you."

I hated the cancerous bastard, but I realised, he had never known about me and Fox.

"Yeah I think I can gain his trust as he even wants to go for a few drinks with me."

"Fine Alex but remember to do whatever it takes to gain his trust."

I went home to change and arrived at his apartment just after 8pm.

 

We decided on a restaurant as we both needed some food, the food was good and I was drinking too much as usual, but I felt very happy like I was eighteen all over again.

The place had gotten busy and a lot louder so Fox had to move right up to me to talk.

"I think we need to find somewhere quite Alex and have a talk."

Fuck I could feel his breath on me and his hand on my thigh, shit my cock was so hard.

"We can go back to mine for coffee Alex if you want."

"Yeah ok let's go then."

 

We had arrived at Fox's apartment drunk and happy despite everything.  
Fuck Fox had no sooner shut the door when he pushed me up against it, his lips found mine and it felt so perfect as he kissed me hard, then I felt his hand wandering under my shirt.  
Fuck he was pressing his hard cock against me and I knew I had to end this, I swore I would never risk hurting Fox again.

"Fox get off me please just let me go."

"What the fuck do you want Alex, you lead me along then tell me to stop?"

"I swear you will thank me one day Fox."

"For fucks sake Alex how far way you going to go before stopping.  
Fuck you Alex just get the hell out now."

"I swear I am so sorry Fox."

"Just shut up and leave fuck it's just like it was 10 years ago all over again...”

"Please listen to me Fox, I still love you but I manage to fuck everything up."

"Fuck off Alex and get the hell out of my sight, you're nothing but a teasing fucking prick."

Shit I found myself thrown out of the apartment but that was after Fox had punched me, I decided to walk on home and get some air and think.  
When I finally made it home I cried until I fell in to a restless sleep.

I woke with one hell of a hangover and realized I had fucked up everything yet again. Shit if Cancerman knew he would kill me but then again so might Fox.

I decided to dress and go buy some very strong vodka and get pissed.  
Later I was drunk but decided I had to visit Fox as I had never wanted to hurt him.  
Shit I had even lied for him telling Cancerman Scully would not be a problem.

I drove to his apartment, I then drank the rest of the vodka for courage and went up to number 42.

I could barely stand and slid down the wall, and then I felt Fox's gorgeous hands grab me. I was pulled up and thrown on the couch.

"You fuckin idiot Alex coming here in this state, shit you could have got run over or killed."

"Kiss me babe, I need you."

"Shut up Alex you may be an ass at times, but I don't want you dead,  
I love you Alex."

"Love you my Fox."

"Shit Alex you have your keys, don't you fuckin dare tell me you drove here in your state."

Shit I felt the hard slap on my cheek; I must have passed out as I found myself waking up in bed beside Fox.

"Alex what do you want from me because I am so confused at the moment."

"I can't explain shit, I want you, but I am afraid of hurting you Fox."

"Shit I love you Alex, we could have worked this out."

"You don't get it do you Fox, hell you don't even know who I work for or anything."

"I thought you worked for the FBI Alex, you can tell me you know."

"Fuck just kiss me Fox let me know you forgive me."

Fox held my head and kissed me on the lips.

"I think I would always forgive you Alex no matter what."

"Don't count on it Fox."

"Look I need a shower Fox while you make coffee, then we will talk."

We separated and a while later ended up on the couch.

"Ok Alex let's talk."

"Look this is going to be hard for me, all I ask is for you to promise just to hear me out."

"I promise Alex, just take your time and tell me."

I paced up and down, finally I began....

"My parents lived in Russia and had very little money to be honest I don't think I was planned, as they were mature parents.  
I guess life was ok as my father was strict with me and my mother was the soft gentle one, I guess between the two I had some equal balance in life.  
Everything changed when I reached 14, a man promised my parents that he could take me to America and give me a good education and a future. He was to become my stepfather and I never got to see my parents again."

Suddenly, the tears came, I wept for my lost parents and myself.

"Alex please if this is too hard we can stop."

"Please Fox I don't want sympathy I have to tell you this, after you can decide if I'm worth it. I was to spend the next 4 years doing as I was told, believe me, he was cruel but I will never talk about that, you know him Fox as Cancerman."

"Alex please tell me it's a joke, that cancerous bastard is your stepfather."

"Please Fox don't look at me like that, it was not my choice."

"I am sorry please just carry on."

"When I was 18, he made me go to college and get an education, that was where I met you and fell in love, but fuck, I hurt you bad and it all went wrong."

"So you were not sent to fuck me up Alex."

"Please Fox, I love you, when I returned to Cancerman I realised, he knew nothing about us, or our relationship. I studied to join the FBI then I was given a folder and told to read it."

"Don't tell me Alex, the folder was about me."

"I was to become your partner gain your trust, then destroy you. I never told him I already knew and loved you, shit I know he will kill me for not doing the job."

"I am willing to die for you Fox if I have to. I lose either way, well Fox do you have anything to say before I go to face him and tell him I fucked up."

"I knew that black lunged bastard was behind it all, shit and the man is your stepfather."

"Believe me Fox, I hate the bastard as much as you, I wish I had never met him."

"Fuck you were just a kid Alex."

"I can't change my past, fuck I wish I could then maybe I might not have nearly killed you."

"That's the past Alex leave it there."

"How the fuck can I, shit I love you Fox but even you can't forgive me for what I did?"

"Just leave it Alex go home and get some sleep, I need some time to think then we can talk in the morning."

"Please Fox call me, I need to know if you still love me."

"I will call you straight away, but promise me you won't disappear this time or anything."

"I promise to wait and hear from you Fox."

I walked out and returned home. Fuck what had I achieved by telling Fox, he would now hate me and Cancerman would kill me.  
I opened the vodka and decided to drink myself in to oblivion, and then I would decide what to do about everything.  
That was when I went in to the bathroom and found the sleeping pills.

Suddenly, I found myself moving around but I was disorientated. That was when I realised that it was Fox who held me.

"Please Alex wake up, you promised not to leave me fuck I will be finished if you die. I bet you never even thought about me shit I love you, please wake up."

I started to stir and opened my eyes, then threw up everywhere.  
I then found myself on a chair with a mug of black coffee.

"Why could you not leave me to die? Fox, shit it would have all ended?"

"Do you really think I could watch you die? Alex I love you even after all this time."

"I want to sleep Fox."

"I know you are tired babe, but you can't sleep for some time and I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Fox, I did this to myself."

"Come on Alex, how about a shower as I think you need one.”

I found myself in the shower with Fox, shit he had removed his own clothes to help me. I would have been thrilled at any other time, but I felt too sick to do anything.

"Look babe me and Skinner have a plan, but we can talk in the morning, but I am warning you Alex, don't ever pull a stunt like that again."

"I'm sorry Fox, why are you here if it's still night time?"

“I decided to come early and I am glad that I did. I told you I love you shit if you had died, I would end my own life, I can't live without you Alex and I don't want to."

"Shit I love you Fox you're my only reason to carry on."

"Yeah well in the future Alex, I don't expect to find you in bed with a bottle of vodka and sleeping pills."

We both slept until morning, and then I woke to Fox's lips upon mine.

"God you can move in Fox if I get woke up like this."

Fox kissed me again.

"Come on Alex, we have plans to make."

"Skinner wants you on our side Alex; he believes you have proven your loyalty to me. At this point, that cancerous bastard just wants you to watch me, so watch me then and give him reports now and again."

"So you want me to lie and tell him a load of shit."

"Mostly yeah anything major let me and Skinner know and we will try to help, but you are not to tell us anything that risks your own life."

"I promise."

"I know you have feelings Alex, shit I have seen them and I do believe Cole was the first man you killed."

"I really believed he had a gun, shit how could I stand there and watch the one person I love die."

"I know you believed that he had a gun, he wanted you to shoot him Alex."

"So what are you saying, I remain in the FBI and have a life with you. I just string Cancerman along and make him think I'm still his obedient little puppy."

“That pretty much sums it up."

"You do realize if he ever found out I will be one very dead man Fox."

"Look I don't ever want to lose you again Alex, only myself and Skinner will know about you. I will give you information for him and if it goes wrong we will sort out something."

"Ok I am willing to go along with it."

"I love you Lexi and we will be together, it might be hard but we will get there."

"Fox will you fuck me now, shit I mean in the past we have always been drunk, can we try it while were both sober please."

Fox grabbed me by the hand and led me towards the bedroom.

"Do you know what scares me the most Fox, when you are drunk you're like him?"

"Like who Alex."

"You are like that cancerous bastard, shit you are so rough and call me a whore sometimes I wonder if you're related to him."

"God I am so sorry Alex, I had never realised I was like that, I promise no sex after alcohol then."

"Do you truly promise Fox?"

"Yeah, but you say that I am like Cancerman when I call you a whore and hurt you. One day you are going to have to tell me about your past as that's the only way that I can help you."

"Fine whatever but later Fox, just fuck me now please."

Fox started kissing me hard on the lips then he moved on to my nipples, he removed what clothes we wore. Fuck I wanted this more than anything.  
He took my cock deep within his throat and at the same time he shoved a finger in my ass.

"Alex we need some lube or something, shit I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't have any lube Fox, shit I never needed it since you."

"Fuck Alex you are telling me that you have remained celibate for the past ten years."

"Fox some other time please, shit I am dying; can't you just fuck me."

"Shit Alex I don't want to just fuck you, I want to make love to you."

I managed to reach in to a drawer and grab some hand cream.

"Please Fox just fuck me, god I'm going insane here."

Fox shoved a pillow under my ass and parted my legs; he then put the tip of his cock against my ass cheeks and stopped. Fuck was he trying to kill me.

"Alex do you really want me to do this."

"Shit are you trying to destroy me totally, of course I want it."

"God you're such a turn on Alex when you beg, ok just one question before I fuck you."

"Just ask me the fuckin question NOW."

"When I asked for lube you said there had been no one but me, is that true Alex."

"Please Fox, I am begging.........."

That was as far as I got before I felt Fox enter my ass, shit the pain soon turned to pleasure. Fuck it was like nothing I had ever experienced before, love not rape.  
I needed to come as I felt Fox's hand around my own cock.

"Come for me babe, just let it all go Alex."

I could take no more, my body gave one final spasm and I came. Fox came deep within me seconds later.

"I love you Alex, shit maybe I was partly to blame as you never hit me this time."

"I love you too Fox and maybe this time we might be ok together."

"Maybe we will."

I fell asleep in Fox's arms, maybe he was right and that sober we might have a future together.

I was happy and totally in love, we had decided to keep our relationship quiet as we were both F.B.I. agents. It just seemed safer for both of us.  
After some time I had started worrying as Fox seemed very distant and bad tempered, I found out that he had gone home sick.

In the meantime I had to meet with Cancerman, I learned about the breech and the data tape. I decide to see what I can find out what the hell Fox has got himself in to. So old smoky paid Bill Mulder a visit, I knew all about Bill Mulder's past and decide to check on Fox.

I was just parking the car when I saw fox get out of the lift.

"Fox where are you going now."

"Just fuck off and leave me alone Alex, I don't need any of your shit."

"Please Fox, what the hell have I done?"

"Just go away."

"Fine, whatever Fox."

I let him go but in the hopes that he would calm down. However I had a bad feeling about everything, especially Bill Mulder.  
Earlier I had managed to sneak into Bill Mulder's home. I was now hiding in the shower and had heard Fox arrive and then Bill Mulder entered the bathroom shit I had to remain quiet. That was when I heard a gunshot and saw Fox's father dead on the floor, fuck it I panicked and fled.

I waited until dark, shit he had to see Fox and let him know everything. I heard a car approaching and ran around the building but I had to be careful if Cancerman knew I was here I would be dead straightaway. I rounded the corner and then I lost my gun as I was repeatedly punched by Fox.

"I'm going to kill you Krycek so you might as well tell the truth, did you kill my father, did you kill him answer me."

Fuck I was in shock as Fox pinned me against a car and punched me again, then I saw the gun and heard Scully shouting.

"Mulder don't shoot just give me the gun."

"He killed my father Scully."

Fox raised the gun towards me and aimed, fuck I was going to die at the hands of my lover. I heard the shot and realised Scully had shot Fox, shit no please he had to be ok.

"Alex get with it and help me."

"Please Scully will he live, believe me? I never killed his father."

"It's not a life threatening wound Alex, I will take him away and take care of him."

I helped Scully to put Fox into the car, I knew there was nothing I could do until Fox was better.

"Take good care of him Scully, I mean it."

"Everything will be ok Alex."

I wished Scully had just shot me, shit it would be easier than this. Fox was shot on account of me, fuck Fox had even believed I was capable of killing his father how could things get any worse?

I knew right from the beginning that it was only a matter of time before Cancerman pulled me out of the FBI. I was no longer needed to watch Fox, I knew Fox had gone to Mexico and Cancerman had tried to kill him. Shit his last know whereabouts had been the boxcar which smoky had bombed however without a body I refused to believe Fox was dead. My life was just to become worse with time as here I was in front of Cancerman yet again.

"You don't seem to be much use to me Alex so I will give you one more job, mess it up and I might use you as my whore again."

"Fuck you, I will never let them touch me again."

"You have very little choice Alex so make sure you get it right this time."

"Great what the hell am I supposed to do now."

"Kill Scully."

"I take it this is some joke."

"No Alex it's not a joke, you will be working with Cardinale so get on with it."

Great how the hell would I get out of this, maybe I could just kill Cardinale first. Well the job could have gone better, shit Cardinale had opened fire and shot her as she entered and that was when I realized it was not Scully.

I later found out it was Melisa Scully, Dana Scully's sister, I might as well be dead now because there's no way in hell that I would ever be a whore again. I grabbed a bottle of vodka and went home.  
I was given my last chance, fuck up and I would die. I had to retrieve the data tape from Skinner without letting Caradine shoot him, I was happy and had something to smile about, Cancerman had notified me that Agent Mulder was still alive and well.

I was left with no choice when we cornered Skinner on the stairwell,  
I repeatedly punched him and grabbed the tape it was either that or let Skinner die. At least this way Skinner was just unconscious and not dead.  
I went back to the car with my so called associates and we headed towards Greenwich inn.

My companions stopped to buy something, shit I realized something was wrong as my companions just watch the car while I noticed the clock repeatedly flash 12:00. Fuck I ran as fast as my legs would carry me as the car exploded behind me. The blast knocked me off my feet however I just got back up and kept on running.  
Therefore Cancerman wanted me dead, well at least I still had the data tape to bargain with.

I got a flight out of there to Hong Kong, I phoned that cancerous bastard first letting him know that I was alive.  
I hated it in Hong Kong but had little choice in the matter, at least I had made some money from the data tape. However it was putting a strain on my health and I was becoming depressed, shit I wanted a way out so much but I had to wait for Jeraldine to return.

When I heard the door get kicked I grabbed my gun, but shit I was not prepared for the voice I heard, especially here in Hong Kong.

"Where are the lights?"

"Right here"

"Krycek I believed guns was against the law here."

"You know what they say, when guns are outlawed."

"Why don't you just take that gun and shoot yourself in the head, like you did my father?"

Jeraldine spoke but I panicked and shoved her out of the door, then I heard the gunshot. I just panicked and fled out of the window and ran.  
I went to see someone about getting the hell out of Hong Kong, shit I was so annoyed when I found out about the French sailors. I had sold the information to piss smoky off and stay alive no one was meant to die, and god of all the people it had to be Fox who showed up here.  
I arrived at the airport and went to make a call at the payphone, shit the next thing I knew an arm had grabbed me and then I was punched in the face. I realised Fox was well pissed off with me and was blaming me for everything.

I was head butted and shoved hard against the payphone, while I was dazed Fox grabbed the gun from the waistband of my jeans.  
Fuck I was stood here with a bloody nose and a gun shoved against my stomach.

"This is for my father."

"I didn't kill your father."

"You're a liar anyway Alex."

"Finish it Mulder, come on finish it."

I had just about had enough of everything but despite the atmosphere, I realised that I was sexually aroused, fuck I had been apart from Fox for so long and now the man was so close to me. Fox glared at me like I was one of the fuckin aliens he searched for.

"You are nothing but a sick fuckin whore Alex, do you get your thrills out of being a cock sucker. I bet that's how you get what you want, just give me the tape Alex."

"Please Fox don't do this, the tapes in DC but let me go, and I will give you it."

"Put the tape in my hand, and I will discuss it the meantime go to the bathroom and clean up Alex, you have 3 minutes then I am coming in order to kill you."

I walked into the bathroom, how the hell was I going to get away from Fox now, shit I saw the women in the men's bathroom then it all became strange?

I was aware of been in my body, but I was trapped in my own head and had to watch as my body was controlled by something else. I was petrified yet I was unable to do anything, even after we were drove off the road I had no control as the thing killed those men.  
However the fucking thing took my body back to Spender, I wanted to scream for it to stop but was unable to do so.  
Cancerman told the thing that he had what it wanted, while my willing body gave the tape back to him. Spender called a couple of his goons and then I was led away.

I was in the silo on the spaceship and I had black oil poring from my eyes, and mouth, then it hit me, the reality of where I was and what was inside me. I screamed and clawed at the walls with my hands knowing that I was trapped in that silo with the alien. I screamed for Fox until my throat became raw, and I could no longer scream.   
Shit I was so scared here alone; however I was even more scared of dying all alone.  
I realised that I could not get out of the silo and deep down I believed Fox would not help me anyway, shit even Fox had called me a whore. Fuck maybe everyone was right and that's all I was, a fuckin whore, I sank to the floor and cried.  
I had no idea how long I was in that silo, I had passed out a lot due to lack of food and water. One day I realized that the door was open and the ship gone so I struggled out of that silo half dead.  
I was found and helped by a militia group, I never shared their beliefs but it was a way of staying alive.

Once I was well enough I learnt their plans and wanted out, but that would mean contact with Fox. I sent him the receipts for a warehouse and arrived there alongside the group.  
I was in the truck when the swat team opened fire and the fuckin driver tried to escape. I never wanted to kill him but had little choice. Then I heard his voice, fuck Fox was yelling at me to get out of the truck.

"Let me see your hands, hands in the air."

I threw my gun out of the window so that I was unarmed.

"You son of a bitch."

Fuck that hurt as Fox struck me, the bastard had hit me in the stomach with his gun.

"I handed you this bust Mulder."

"Come on Krycek."

“Most of the detonation cord was stolen from a construction site, and some of the explosives were just taken from a military base. I mean, security's just so lax, it's a joke everything else was over the counter. Two thousand kilos of boom-boom." 

Great now Scully wanted to know how I got involved with these men.

"They found me in North Dakota. They liberated me on a salvage hunt hey, you go underground, you gotta learn to live with the rats. "

Mulder slaps off my baseball cap. God I notice the look of anger as he saw my short haircut, he had always preferred it longer.

“I’m sure you had no trouble adapting.”

“These men are pathetic revolutionaries who'll kill innocent Americans in the name of bonehead ideologies.”

"You're full of crap, Krycek. You're an invertebrate scum-sucker whose moral dipstick is about two drops short of bone dry."

"Hey! I love this country. " 

Scully asked me yet again what I wanted.

"Same thing you do. To find the man who tried to kill me. The same man that was responsible for your father's death and your sister's."

"You want this man brought to justice?”

God Scully can be so stupid at times; she still believes the law can deal with everyone.

"You can't bring these men to justice. They're protected. The laws of this country protect them in the name of national security. They know no law." 

"Then why don't you put a bullet in his head like you did that man out there?" 

"These men, they fear one thing; exposure, you expose him you expose his crimes, you destroy the destroyer's ability to destroy."

"The only thing that will destroy this man is the truth.”

"The truth, the truth! There's no truth these men they make it up as they go along. They're the engineers of the future they're the real revolutionaries. I can get them for you too". 

"We can't help you Krycek." 

"Mulder. This is just one bomb I'm sitting on here. You didn't ask me how many more I know about." 

God Fox was willing to keep me around if I gave him information, and I was just glad of the attention. He kept me cuffed while we drove to Dulles airport, I knew that something was going to be brought in to the country but I just never knew what.  
Fuck Fox looked like he wanted to rip me apart, then he showed me what was in the pouch. I knew that it must be important due to them smuggling it here but Fox never wanted to hear me out.

"Please Fox you have to listen to me."

"I am sick of listening to your shit Alex, I loved you and tried to help you."

"Yeah right, you accused me of killing your father, Scully's sister and god knows what else. Well I am sick of you treating me like fuckin dirt, you're so fucking high and mighty in comparison to me Fox, what a joke you're a sad pathetic jumped up fuck."

"Shut your fuckin mouth Alex, shit I need somewhere to leave you for the night."

"You lock me up and I'm dead."

"Shut up Alex, I will take you to a safe house."

"Yeah safe like hell, what's up Fox can't you take care of me yourself? Sorry I forgot you're scared that I might hit you again."

Oh shit I must have pushed Fox too far, he pulled the car over and grabbed me by the throat.

""Shut the fuck up Alex or I swear I will kill you here and now. I loved you yet you fucked up my life with your lies and shit."

"God I'm sorry Fox."

"Don't speak to me again Alex, I've had enough of your lies."

I sat in silence, it was when Fox stopped the car I realized where we were.  
Fuck Fox was planning to leave me with Skinner, god I would be dead before morning.  
I was only there seconds when Skinner punched me full force in the stomach, he then asked Fox for the keys. I was dragged on to the balcony and cuffed to the fuckin railing, that's when I found my voice.

"You can't leave me out here, I'm going to freeze to death."

"Think warm thoughts."

Fuck I could not believe that Skinner planned to leave me out here, my body was already starting to go numb from the cold as the hours past.

Shit my brain still registered the click of the handcuffs unlocking, then I saw Skinner as I was dragged inside the apartment and towards the bedroom. I was too cold to fight and was shoved face down on the bed and cuffed to the headboard. Shit I wanted to be sick as I felt my trousers unfasten, and then Skinners hands were pulling them down along with my boxer shorts.

I tried to block everything out, but then I felt something between my ass cheeks, then my face was pushed down so I was unable to scream. Fuck the pain was excruciating and it felt like I was been torn apart, I could hear Skinner calling me a pretty whore and a slut only good for a quick fuck.  
I wanted to scream cry god anything, I felt like I was going mad.  
Then I heard the safety catch on the gun and my ass felt on fire, I passed out when I realised Skinner was fucking me with his gun, a gun that the safety had been released from.

When I finally came round I could feel skinner shoving his cock in and out of me. He griped me tight as he came in my ass, then I was un cuffed and dragged back onto the balcony, skinner re cuffed me and walked away. The bastard never even spoke to me as he had shoved me back in the cold.  
I managed to get my jeans back up and fasten them, I was sore and bleeding, I felt so used and degraded, but worse I felt anger. Somewhere, somehow I would get revenge on Skinner, I finally drifted into a fitful sleep.

Sometime later I woke to the sound of someone in the apartment. I had no choice but to climb over the balcony and hang there, shit this would really put the G mans cuffs to the test. When the man finally came onto the balcony I grabbed him and pulled him over, despite the pain in my wrist it amused me as to how skinner would explain the stiff on the ground. I pulled myself back up, they say revenge is sweet so I have no intention of dying just yet.

Great I see that Skinner sent for the cavalry, Fox had been sent to get me out of there.

"We are going to walk out of here like nothings happened."

"You put me up here man, I can't wait to see you get me out."

"Stupid ass haircut."

I could not believe Fox had picked now to mention my hair, but then Fox had always liked it longer. I remembered how he used to grab my hair during sex,hell maybe Fox did have feelings after all, best not think about that right now. I found myself in a cab and was surprised to see where we were going.  
I really did not want to be here, Fox's apartment held way to many memories for me. Fox became his bossy arrogant self and started with the orders.

"Take your clothes off Alex, I will run you a shower, shit I think you need one."

"Fuck you Fox, you never had to sleep on a freezing cold balcony."

"Just undress Alex, I know you still have some clothes here from before."

"And you never binned them, fuck it must kill you having something of mine here."

"Fuck you Alex that was a long time ago, please just don't piss me off."

I removed my clothes then I noticed the blood on my boxers, fuck Skinner would pay for what he had done. I wanted to cry as the last time I was here had been so different, now Fox looked at me with hate.

"You make me sick Fox don't piss you off, shit do you not think maybe I'm pissed off."

"You were the one who betrayed me Alex, you fucking deserve all you get."

I could feel Fox's eyes staring at my naked body, shit it all happened so fast as Fox charged at me pushing me on the bed he then pinned me down.  
Due to the lack of sleep and food I knew I was no match for Fox, but I was already in agony and I loved Fox.

"Get the fuck off me you bastard."

"Why, I thought you liked getting fucked over Alex."

"Please just let me go."

"You always used people, took what you wanted Alex, well fuck you it's my turn now."

"Please Fox, I still love you, don't do this."

"Fuck you Alex, you don't even know what love is you bastard."

"No sorry Fox, I'm just everyone's fuckin whore."

I felt fox unfastening his own zip, fuck after the damage skinner caused I wanted to scream as I felt fox shove his rock hard cock into my ass. Fuck I laid there crying into the pillow, I was unsure if it was the rape or the words that hurt the most, fuck fox was shoving into me harder and harder and yelling.

"I hate you Alex, you're a fucking murder, liar and a worthless piece of shit, I wish you had died in that fuckin silo, you're a fuckin whore you bastard, I hate you, I hate you, I fuckin hate you Alex."

I felt the hot semen in my ass then Fox's cock slip out, I had to deal with Skinners rape but not Fox, I loved him so much and wished I were dead.

"Get a shower Alex, I will get some food."

I walked into the kitchen and was grateful for the clothes and shower, I grabbed a few sandwiches and ate them fast as I was so hungry. I knew Fox was watching me and it was starting to piss me off.

"you got nothing to say Fox, good just keep your fuckin mouth shut as I have heard it all before Alex Krycek, big bad murderer double crossing rat bastard. Anything else you want to add, no ok I will then, liar assassin, oh and let's not forget what else I am Fox, A FUCKTOY TO BE USED, AND FUCKIN RAPED, I HATE YOU."

"Stop fucking shouting Alex, get your coat and move."

"Fuck you, I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Well it's me or Spender Alex, your choice but my guess is he will kill you straight away."

"You bastard."

"Just get in the dam car Alex NOW."

"Whatever, and look who's shouting now."

Fox drove in silence while I got to just sit there bored, then the bastard fucked off and left me cuffed. I was nearly falling asleep when I heard the car door open.

"Where have you been Mulder?"

"Making travel arrangements to follow the pouch."

"You’re going to keep me in the dark."

"Yeah."

When I came round, I realised that they were at JFK airport, shit Fox was getting out he had already knocked me out so what was he planning now.

"Your not...."

"I'm leaving the window rolled down; if I'm not back in a week I will call Scully to bring you a bowl of water."

"You’re not leaving me here; I’ve got information Mulder about a second bomb, time, date, place."

I lost it totally and started yelling at fox in Russian,  
Fuck I realised Fox was coming back.

"You speak Russian Alex."

"I told you my parents were Russian."

The next thing I knew, he was on a plane heading towards Russia, with Fox Mulder.

"I wish things could have been different Alex, we were good together."

"Shit even back then, I flipped out and put you in hospital."

"Why Alex, what happened so bad in your past that made you do it."

"It’s the past just leave it there Fox, hell maybe one day I might tell you."

The rest of the flight was spent in silence, I just needed some time to think.  
Upon arriving in Russia, I managed to get a lift to where we needed to go. It was cold and damp sat in the rear of the truck, I was also in so much pain from the beatings and rapes I had previously endured. However I found myself unable to look at fox.

"Oh god I'm so sorry Alex what have I done, please look at me babe?"

"Don't call me babe Fox, what the hell do you want from me?"

"The truth Alex, that's all I ever wanted."

"I didn't kill your father, I was there because I thought they were going to kill you, and as for Melissa Scully, I swear that I was planning to kill Cardinale. He opened fire before I got the chance, shit the minute I got away from him I dialled 911 but it was too late she still died."

"Shit Alex I never knew."

"No and you never asked, shit that cancerous bastard tried to kill me in a car bomb, I just ran and ran.  
I then ended up in a fuckin silo with a fuckin alien and left to die, I sent you those receipts to help you Fox, what did I get in return beaten and raped, well fuck you all?"

"Shit Alex I never meant to hurt you."

"I would never hurt you deliberately I thought you knew that Fox, you took my heart and I have nothing left. Fuck that night I took the overdose you should have left me to die."

"I am so sorry Alex please believe me, I can never apologize enough for what I have done. I know I hurt you, and I can't make excuses for that I wanted you Alex, fuck I still want you. I love you babe you mean everything to me."

I sat there sobbing, it felt so good just to be held again, and I loved Fox so much.

"I love you Fox, I always have since that first day in college."

I felt happier than I had in a long time and it was going well until we were caught. I was questioned and thrown in a cell with Fox, shit I had to get out of here as I had become claustrophobic since the silo.

"We need to get out of here, they are going to torture us."

Fuck I already felt so trapped here, yet all Fox did was pin me against the wall by my throat.

"What did you tell them Alex?"

"I told them we were stupid Americans lost in the woods, your going to need me in here Fox. Just get of me and don't touch me again."

I started talking in Russian to the guards, shit I needed to talk to someone higher up.

I was pleased with myself, it had been hard work but I had managed to talk the Russians into letting me go. I could also take my American friend with me as they had believed my story. I hated the gulag and wanted to leave, however I was taken by surprise when I was pushed onto the back of the truck and the last thing he saw was Fox punching me.

Shit when I realized where I was I had jumped from the truck, I just ran and ran into the woods until I was cornered by some peasants. I had noticed all the men had no left arm, but I managed to convince them that I had escaped the gulag; at least they now offered to help me. I had been through so much and was exhausted and finally been able to relax I drifted into sleep. I later heard a noise and instantly became awake but it was too late.  
I was pinned down by many of the peasants and when they started pulling at my jacket I panicked. God please not raped again, but then I saw the red hot knife, please no anything but that. I could not stand the excruciating pain and I screamed and screamed until I blacked out.

I finally came round some time later, however I was in agony and not prepared for the sight before me. The pain was unbearable where I no longer had a left arm, fuck just a stump. What had they done to me shit I hated everyone and just wanted to die first I would seek revenge? Anyone who had ever done me any wrong in my life would fuckin pay?

I became totally pissed off with Russia, I hated it here now and needed to find a way out. Well, after finding the boy Dmitri maybe my luck would change however I despised myself for beating and infecting the boy. I also despised myself for what I had become, but I decided I had no choice but then as usual it all went wrong.

After travelling on the star of Russia to New York Marita had turned up and fuck talk about been led by your dick, I had gone months and months without sex, so I decided that I needed it there and then. When I later returned the boy Dmitri had gone, fuck that bitch Marita had double crossed me, however I turned around to find I had more company as there in the doorway stood the well manicured man holding a gun.

I found myself handcuffed, well it turned out Marita got what she deserved and the bitch had been infected with the black oil. I had two choices, give the man the vaccine to save Marita, or still be cuffed on the ship when it returned to Russia. As I was not willing to die just yet I never really had a choice, hell at least working for the English man was far better than my stepfather. That cancerous bastard had taken a bullet but left no fuckin body behind; hell even assassins have bad days.

Working turned out to be ok, most of the time was spent just driving around, that was until I was given my first job. Fuck it had to be some kind of a joke as my job was to deliver a message to Fox, and I had not seen him since Russia when I was in the truck. Fuck all that time had passed with no contact and Fox would not even know about my arm. As much as I loved Fox part of me blamed him for the loss of my arm, the rape everything, fuck I was a mess and now I had to go and face Fox.

I broke in to Fox's apartment, I had left a note on the floor near the door and waited, when Fox entered and bent to retrieve the note I charged shoving him to the floor and pointed the gun at him.

“You must be losing it Mulder, I could beat you with one hand"

"Isn't that how you like to beat yourself? If those are my last words I can do better. "

I'm not here to kill you, Mulder, I'm here to help you."

"Hey, thanks."

"You know, if it wasn't in my best interests, I would just as soon squeeze this trigger." 

"What's stopping you?”

"Hear this, Agent Mulder ... Listen very carefully because what I'm telling you is deadly serious. There is a war raging, and unless you pull your head out of the sand you and I and about five billion other people are going to go the way of the dinosaur. I'm talking planned invasion, the colonization of this planet by an extraterrestrial race." 

“I thought you were serious.”

"Kazakhstan, Skyland Mountain, the site in Pennsylvania. They're all alien lighthouses where the colonization will begin, but where now a battle's being waged a struggle for heaven and earth. Where there is one law: Fight or die. And one rule: Resist or serve." 

"Serve who?" 

“No not who, what." 

"Krycek, you're a murderer, a liar and a coward. Just because you stick a gun in my chest I'm supposed to believe you're my friend? "

"Get up,I was sent by a man ... A man who knows as I do that resistance is in our grasp, and in yours. The mass incinerations were strikes by an alien rebellion to upset plans for occupation. Now one of these rebels is being held captive and if he dies, so does the resistance"

I could not cope in the apartment, and could not resist kissing him on the cheek, I then handed Fox the loaded gun and turned to leave.

"Alex please don't leave, we need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about Agent Mulder as there is no me and you, I despise you and I came here because I was sent. Believe me it was not my choice to see you again, goodbye Agent Mulder I hope you get the life you so much deserve."

My life was going from bad to worse, shit I had thought paying Fox a visit was bad enough. Then they tell me that the cancerous son of a bitch is still alive, my next mission was to go get my stepfather and I had to bring him back alive. The one man I hated and blamed for making me a whore and an assassin, shit the cancerous bastard had fucked my whole life up. I knew it would be hard resisting the urge to kill him; however I knew that if I killed Cancerman my own life would end. I was not ready to die yet, the time would come for revenge.  
Cancerman and Skinner would be easy because I hated them both, but Fox that's different as how do you seek revenge on someone you still love. I was not too worried as I was in no hurry and would think of a way?

Fuck I could not believe Diana Foley was back on the scene. I hated the bitch and if I was honest, I was jealous of the time she spent with Fox and to make matters worse I knew she was working for Cancerman. I would fuckin kill the bitch if she harmed Fox as only I could do that. Not that I could plan a lot as I realised that little shit Gibson Praise was reading my mind, I threatened that if he did it again I would shoot him.

I was falling apart and wanted to be young again, be back to a time before that cancerous bastard had shown up in my life. Maybe the time had come to plan my revenge.   
The revenge was not going to be for just myself, I had learnt that my parents had been shot dead only a few months after I had left Russia, hell I was still only fourteen at the time. However I had endured all the suffering believing that I was saving them, the revenge would be for myself and my parents. I would make dam well make sure Cancerman paid for my parent’s deaths and for fucking my entire life up.

What was worse, the rumours were that the cancerous bastard was Fox's father? Fuck that could not be possible, then I remembered when I had told Fox he was like him, shit when Fox was drunk he was violent and had called me a whore.

That cancerous bastard was the devil himself and I was determined to see him back in hell. The time had come for revenge, I had heard about S.R 819 and the nanotechnology microscopic atoms.  
I wanted to stop the bill but decided to have fun at the same time. Well, Walter Skinner I guess its pay back time and they do say revenge is sweet, I will guarantee right now you will regret ever touching me you bastard.

I could not believe in the gym Skinner never even recognised me, I guess the beard and wig worked after all. I also have Dr Orgel to deal with, he should never have tried warning Skinner however the electronic voice worked better than planned. I watched Skinner from a distance as he listened to the message on his mobile warning him it was in him and he had 24 hours to live, well that got his attention.

I had started it easy only causing slight bruising and his veins to raise, but believe me I planned for it to get far worse. Skinner was so out of it so I followed him with ease yet I was starting to get pissed off, everyone kept getting in the way of my plans. I could not believe one of the senators men had tried shooting Skinner but I had acted fast and ran the man down killing him, no one else would take Skinner out that was my job.

I decided the time had come to send Skinner another message, shit I was in the corridor writing it when I saw Fox exit Skinners hospital room. Oh shit Fox saw the palm pilot and I guessed he knew I was the man sending the messages, so I ran as fast I could to the elevator, well dear Fox you have always been fast but not this time. Shit I realised the gate was closed so I was left with no choice but to abandon the car.

Fox was searching for a bearded man and I wanted it to stay that way, Fox must never find out it was me. I was pleased that I had managed to escape Fox as things could have turned out bad otherwise. I decided between playing with Skinner that I might have fun with Dr Orgel, shame Senator Matherson did not believe what I was capable of well I would make him see.  
I used the same machine on Orgel as Skinner, well now Orgel was dead Matherson might take me serious now. I could not believe that I had managed to kill Skinner then bring him back; well Skinner knew it was me but he could prove useful in the future as now I had my own puppet within the FBI.

I was having fun, god I could not believe Cancerman thought his son Jeffery would follow in his footsteps. My job was to drive Jeffery to the second elders house as they knew he was an alien in disguise, I knew Jeffery was a spineless wimp so I decided to follow him into the house and I had been right. I was the one who had to kill the alien before it killed Spenders perfect son. Well there was a good side as I got to tell Jeffery all about his father and even how his mother Cassandra was sacrificed for the project.

All the consortium members went to El Ricco airbase as they believed that they were to meet the aliens. However it all went wrong when the rebels showed up and burnt everyone, except Cancerman he had managed to get away. Meanwhile I had gone to find the Alien foetus which was gone but at least he never got torched with the rest.

Everyone seemed to want some revenge on Fox, but I was dammed sure that no one would have that pleasure, well except me of course.  
However I had stolen the laptop and killed Krichkov to protect Fox, yet Spender had known that it was me.  
I had been held in a penal colony in Tunisia; I had only been released because Cancerman was dying and needed to see me. Well, I realised it was time for revenge and that cancerous bastards time was up, and at least I would get out of this hell hole. Fuck I thought Cancerman was mad as he was talking aliens and UFOs all over again and he wanted me to revive the project.

I had been a good boy and obeyed Cancerman, when I arrived in Oregon I spotted Fox straight away. God I had not seen Fox for such a long time yet I realised that I still loved and wanted him.  
I was working with Marita and my next job was to pay Fox a visit, I even had to go to FBI headquarters to find him.  
I must admit it felt very strange been back here, however I needed to see Skinner first and get him on my side.  
Well let's just say that Fox was not pleased to see me and I believe he trusted Marita over me.

I did my job and left knowing that I would see my dear Fox very soon, but first I had that cancerous bastard to take care of.  
I went back to see Cancerman as it was time to send the devil back to hell, shit I could not believe what Cancerman had said...

"As you do to Mulder and to me, you do to all mankind Alex”

So this piece of shit, who had lied betrayed and killed so many accused me of that. I took the wheelchair to the top of the stairs then I shoved it down then I calmly walked down the stairs and stepped over the body.

"Well you bastard you got what you deserved hell I guess the consortium is no more now just finished and gone."

Well, I had got my revenge on the cancerous bastard and Skinner, that just left Agent Mulder, but it was ok, over the past 2 years I had been making plans for my dear Fox. I had used money from a false bank account to secure a home that was very secure and private and it would serve my needs, then Fox went and got himself abducted.

3 months of hell as I waited for news of Fox then my life fell apart, Fox dead, shit his body had been returned. I had no choice but to stand in the shadows as my beloved Fox was buried and put to rest, then I had to wait until dark to say goodbye.

"I loved you Fox more than life so why could you not trust me, shit love never turned to hate babe despite everything. A part of me has always loved you and always will, what do I do now without you? I always knew you were somewhere getting on with your life now nothing, goodbye my sweet Fox."

I stood with tears streaming down my face; I bent down to leave the red rose then left. Three more months of just drinking and feeling sorry for myself, fuck what was the point of carrying on, then I heard about Billy miles. Shit he was alive after all this time and he had been abducted the same time as Fox; suddenly I had a thought, what if Fox was buried alive.

When I arrived at the FBI headquarters Skinner was unwilling to listen, shit I knew that the man was my only hope as I needed Fox's body exhumed.  
Well I had known the palm pilot would come in handy, some pain soon got Skinner's attention.

"Look Skinner you exhume the body and if Fox is dead you just look like an idiot, don't exhume the body and you're a dead man."

"Why the interest Krycek, I would have thought you preferred him dead."

"Just do it Skinner my reasons are not your concern."

I gave Skinner a little jolt of pain as a warning then I later checked on him, well it appeared the body was to be exhumed after all.  
When Fox was taken to a hospital I kept a close eye on things, however I realized that Billy Miles had become a super soldier and was no longer human. I also knew without the vaccine Fox would also become one.  
I crept into the hospital unseen and prayed it would work as Fox looked so ill. Shit I would rather the man die than be a fuckin super soldier.

I had just administered the vaccine to Fox when Skinner entered, I just gave him man a load of bull shit and walked out.  
However I now found myself face to face with agent Doggett who now ran the x files. I could not believe the man punched me, so I decided to piss him off by dropping the vaccine so that it smashed and then I drove away. Hell let them think what they want as they all believed I was the devil reincarnated anyway, and as long as Fox was alive I could live with the rest.  
Skinner had later decided to disconnect the life support machine, so everyone believed Skinner had saved Fox and was the hero.

I kept a close eye on Fox and realized that he was ok, despite the fact he looked so depressed and alone. The bastards had even removed him from the x files, yet I realized that Fox still put Scully before any one else.  
I knew that I would have to watch Fox far keener than before, I knew that Billy Miles was looking for Scully and that put Fox at risk.  
When I next encountered Fox face to face it was while Miles was trying to catch them. Hell when I wound down the car window Fox hesitated before he got in the car, shit I got the feeling he thought that I was more of a threat than Billy Miles.  
However Fox and Scully finally decided to get in to the car, shit he must have decided I was a better choice.  
We all arrived at the FBI headquarters and I went on to tell them all about the human replacements, they are unstoppable and wanted Scully's baby. Fox had no idea, whether to believe me or not, I could tell by the look on his face and at that moment Doggett had to bring up the time I had left him to die in the hospital, shit Fox will always despise me for that.

Skinner never trusted me and was even prepared to leave me while they got in to the lift, however they soon returned. I was surprised when Fox trusted me to look after Scully So I did well and managed to get her to the garage, a car was already waiting to take her to safety. Meanwhile Fox and Skinner had managed to get rid of Billy miles in a garbage truck.

I soon realized Fox would not even talk to me after Doggett mentioned the vaccine, and how I left Fox to die. Fuck you I decided it was time for revenge on Fox, then I would see if I had what Fox needed, I knew the time was near when I would leave but it had to be final. I planned to return to the home that I had bought a while ago, as far as the world would know Alex Krycek would no longer exist.

Patience was all I would need now, great Fox had gone off somewhere and I was left with Skinner in his office I hated him and did not want to be alone with him. When I walked over to the bin I noticed Billy miles so I ran for the lift, I made it to the lift but so did Skinner. I had known the replacements were strong but hell not as strong to rip through the lift door injuring Skinner. I decided that it was time that I left and put my final plan into action.

Fox had not even noticed me as I drove in to the FBI garage and had left my car, then he saw the car window smash, I reached in and grabbed the phone then crushed it under my shoe and ordered Mulder to get out of the car.

“Doesn’t seem fair now. Doesn't seem right coming down to this."

"What do you know about fair or right, Krycek? You're a coward." 

"I could've killed you so many times Mulder. You've got to know that. I'm the one that kept you alive praying you'd win somehow." 

“Then there really is no God." 

"You think I'm bad that I'm a killer. We wanted the same thing brother that's what you don't understand." 

"I wanted to stop them all you wanted was to save your own ass. "

“No I tried to stop them tried to kill … Scully's baby to stop them. It's too late, the tragedy's that you-- you wouldn't let it go. That's why I have to do this cause you know how deep it goes, right into the FBI. "

"You want to kill me Alex, kill me. Like you killed my father just don't insult me trying to make me understand."

Fuck I heard the sound of Skinners gun rip through the garage, not once but the fucker had fired twice, two shots in to my only good arm. 

“It’s going to take more bullets than you can... ever fire to win this game but one bullet... and I can give you a thousand lives. Shoot Mulder. "

One final bullet straight through the forehead fuck that was not called for, so Skinner was capable of murder after all.

I could not believe how well my plan was going, it would have taken quite a while to drive to Mulder's apartment then back home, but thanks to the bug I had placed in Fox's apartment I now knew he was going to Martha's vineyard. That pleased me a great deal as it would be easier to grab him only taking half the time. Things were really looking up now after all and revenge was near.  
My own death had meant nothing to Fox so now he was going to pay, I only had to wait at the vineyard for an hour then Fox showed up, I had heard the car but waited until it pulled into the drive.  
As soon as Fox stepped out of the car I grabbed him from behind then shoved the chloroform cloth over the mans mouth and nose, Fox had tried to fight it but collapsed into my arms.

I had found it hard getting Fox into my own car but I finally managed, I then gave him a mild sedative as I wanted him asleep for the journey home without him fighting me.  
The drive went quick enough but I would feel better when Fox was secure, I managed to get the unconscious man out of the car and drag him to the correct room. This was the room that I had designed just for Fox, the room where I would say goodbye to the man I still loved forever.

Once I had managed to lay Fox on the bed I started to remove all the mans clothes, fuck to look at Fox sprawled out and naked after so long was turning my own cock to stone. I secured his arms and legs in the cuffs and added the gag and the blindfold, I wanted Fox to see me and what I was going to do to him so I decided to remove the blindfold. I grabbed a book and sat in the chair as now all I had to do was wait for Fox to wake up.

After some time I noticed that Fox was opening his eyes, but all that I saw in them was a look of sheer terror.  
Shit Fox started to thrash around and panic then he blacked out again, I had no choice but to slap him hard across the face.

"Come on Fox wake up for me, I know you can do it."

Fox slowly opened his eyes, he stared at me as I loomed over him.

"Oh babe what is that look, is it fear that I see in those gorgeous eyes do you fear me Fox, don't worry too much babe as I promise after I have had some fun and caused you some pain, I will let you go. Not that you deserve it Fox we could have had a good life together, but you never trusted me.  
So many things you accused me of doing, hell some I did, some I never did and believe me some I would do again.  
In the back of that truck on the way to Russia I told you I loved you, I had persuaded them into letting us go just one more hour Fox and we would have left together, but oh no you couldn't wait and that little adventure cost me my fuckin arm. You left me in that silo with a fuckin alien for Christ's sake, I screamed and screamed for you but you never came."

I realized that all my emotions were getting the better of me, but I could not stop shit I was so angry.

"You handed me over to Skinner and then you took me to your apartment where you raped me Fox, you were supposed to love me, shit I would have given myself to you but no you raped me and punched me. Poor Fox are you crying, well I wish you had left me to die all them years ago.  
You see I watched the security tape Fox, you don't get it do you, I never died in that garage when the car returned with Roer, it was a fuckin clone. I knew if the clone threatened you Skinner would shoot, so you see Fox as far as everyone's concerned Alex Krycek is dead."

I finally stopped talking and needed time, I sat there sobbing as my whole body shook fuck my whole life had been a fuckin nightmare. I had seen how Fox had reacted to my death and I knew that I to finish what I had started.

"Skinner shot me three times Fox the final shot right in my head, what did you do hell you just walked away. I guess you must have really hated me to just watch me die and not even care, shit you can cry as much as you want Fox but nothing will change and I will go ahead with my plans?  
It's too late for the fuckin tears, or pretend that you care."

I ran my fingers up and down Fox's cock, just happy to touch the man I genuinely thought I would never have again.

"When I am finished with you and let you go I will end my sad pathetic life, and then you can forget me for good."

I shoved Fox's cock into my mouth and sucked hard letting my teeth glide over the head, I would take him and just imagine us together not rape but love.

"So I can still turn you on and make you hard but then again you're nothing but a slut, fuck I bet you would go hard for anyone."

I stood removing all my clothes, and then I grabbed some pillows and shoved them under Fox's ass.

"I plan to take you Fox and fuck you until you scream, you don't understand do you I only ever loved you, shit I still love you so just one more time and it ends."

I pulled Fox's legs apart and bent his knees as far as the restraints would allow, I grabbed the lube but then changed my mind as I wanted Fox to hurt and still feel me for sometime after I had fucked him. I found the small puckered hole and forced one finger in roughly then added another shoving it as far as it would go, twisting them deep inside Fox.

"What's matter babe you are shaking, you know I'm going to fuck you hard just relax and accept it otherwise you will suffer more?"

I positioned my large erect cock and plunged straight into the small opening, I Felt Fox tense then relax.

"Does it feel good babe I would have done anything for you, shit I would kill to protect you but you had to force me to do this."

I thrust in and out of Fox getting harder and faster, I also knew after all this time without Fox I would not last long. I came hard and collapsed on him sobbing, and then I finally pulled myself up and looked at Fox.

"I won't be here soon but before I go I want you to know Fox you can be so stupid at times, when you died and they buried you, I wanted to climb in that grave with you. I had a way of blackmailing Skinner, when Billy miles turned up I forced him to exhume your body, or I would kill him. I am me, sick and twisted little Alex, fuck Fox when you lay in that hospital bed I know they told you I destroyed the vaccine and left you to die.  
I had to tease them Fox, when Skinner found me there I had already given you the vaccine and I tried to save your life so many times babe and that's why I will die and not you."

I saw the tears pouring down Fox's cheeks and his body was shaking.

"What's matter is it painful babe."

I had only just realized that I had left Fox with a hard on, I bent forward and started licking the hard organ then I deep throated him. God I loved the taste of Fox, then I felt the hot semen in my mouth as he came I licked my lips then licked Fox's cock clean.

"I love you Fox more than you will ever know, I am going to release you but don't worry I'm not scared of what you might do to me as my life ends the minute you leave."

I took one long last look at Fox Mulder before I unfastened the straps releasing him; I then gently removed the gag.

"You will find your stuff in the wardrobe please just dress and leave Fox."

I turned away as I was not prepared to watch the man I love walk away, one bullet and it would all end and my pathetic life would be no more.  
Before I even realized what was happening Fox had grabbed me and slammed me hard into the wall, all went black as I passed out. When I finally came round my head hurt and I was really pissed off and I would make Fox pay for what he had done...

"You bastard, why Fox I was willing to let you go you should have just left, and get these straps of me NOW."

"What's matter does big bad Alex not like his own medicine, well its time for you to just shut up and listen?"

I was faced down on the bed, I had my arms stretched upwards and strapped to the headboard, however I realized my legs were still free, so I decided to start kicking and screaming hoping Fox would release me.

"I will break your fuckin neck Mulder, release me now."

Fuck the bastard calmly walked towards me and fuckin gagged me, shit Fox had gone to far now.

"It’s your turn to listen to me Alex, and if gagging you will make you quiet I'm afraid I have no choice, who knows maybe I might decide to return the favour and fuck you if you behave."

I started kicking my legs out in temper, but no matter how hard I tried I could not reach Fox.

"That's one of the things I always loved about you Alex, that wild beast inside you."

Fox lifted his hand and slapped me hard on my bare backside, I lay still for a moment then I started again. Fuck Fox came back over and slapped me three more times really hard, finally I decided that I had no choice and lay still.

"What a turn on you are Alex with that bright red sexy ass in the air, oh baby have I made you cry. Do you know you are still as gorgeous as that first day in college?"

Fuck now Fox was bent close to my face and was licking the tears away, then he started stroking my dam hair, shit what the fuck was his game now.

"I might fuck you later but for now we need to talk, you had your say now it's my turn."

I watched as Fox grabbed the chair and pulled it right up to me, he just sat there and stared at me, fuck the evil bastard wanted to watch me cry.

"You can't take all the blame Alex, you wanted out and it was me and Skinner that talked you into working against Cancerman. I will not sit here and say you’re perfect because you’re not as you can still be a little shit and a cock tease, but fuck, I still love you Alex.  
I felt guilty when you lost your arm and I should have believed in you, and as for your death with Skinner there I could do very little as he never knew that I still loved you. However that night I crept into the morgue and I held your body and cried, I told you how much I loved you Alex and you weren't even fuckin dead, believe me when I say I am pissed off big style."

Fuck I realized that I had meant something to Fox after all, but it was over two decades later and too late.

"When I was affected by the artefact I could read minds Alex and I know it was you who infected Skinner, I saw everything shit I was the one who left you with him, he raped you twice babe. Shit and to top it all off I rape and beat you."

I lay there crying but at the same time I realized that Fox was also sobbing, shit I wanted to comfort him and just to hold him.

"I wanted you Alex, but I believed you would tell me to fuck off, so I used you Alex however I then felt sick and despised myself for what I had done shit I was no better than Skinner, but I don't see you as some fucktoy I love you so much god how I want and need you Alex."

I had been so angry yet I now laid here watching him as I bawled like a big baby, did Fox really love me and want me.

"One thing I will guarantee right now I will not let you kill yourself Alex, shit I thought my life was over but hell now we have a second chance. Please Alex let me make it up to you I want to fuck you until it hurts or until you realize your mine, god I'm not in the FBI and the consortiums long gone, please Alex. Fuck this, I'm going to fuck you right now Alex."

Fox used plenty of lube on his cock and my ass, he had no intention of hurting me not that I cared as all I wanted was him inside me, become one together.  
God as Fox plunged his erect cock deep into my ass I wanted to scream out with pleasure, fuck not that I could with the gag firmly in place.

"I'm removing the gag babe don't worry, we should have been together from the start, fuck I love you so much please Alex be mine."

"You're my life Fox, without you, I am nothing, I will always be yours, I love you."

As Fox worked on my ass and my cock I came within minutes, as I tightened my ass I felt my lovers come deep within me making us one together. Fox uncuffed me and rubbed my good arm, he also removed the fake one and kissed my stump then he lay beside me and held me tight. 

"I want you so much Alex please don't ever leave me, I accept you made mistakes but hell I made plenty on my own. I always saw the bad in you I never even really gave you a chance please forgive me Alex."

"I need you Fox more than I have ever needed anyone, I am so sorry you believed I was dead, I just hated everyone but god I love you more than I can say. But after I saw the tape I thought you hated me, please Fox I want you to kiss me, hold me make love to me."

Fox took me in his arms and kissed me from head to toe, then he made love to me, we both cried afterwards realizing that we had wasted twenty years all because we never really talked.  
We both held on to each other afraid to let go. 

"Fox do you still remember the day we made love, shit and I put you in hospital."

"Yeah but it's the past, however I always wondered why you did it."

"Well we do have one other thing in common Fox."

"What's that?"

"Our hate for Spender, he was my stepfather Fox and he took me from Russia at 14, shit at 16 he made me a whore as he threatened to kill my parents otherwise, I had no choice I swear I hated it Fox. That night you were the first man who made love to me, not rape yet I lost it and saw you as one of them I never meant to hurt you."

"Shit Alex you lived with that pain all them years without telling me, I had a feeling something major had gone on, why did you never tell me?"

"Because I assumed you would find me repulsive Fox however many years later I learnt it was all lies. Hell I put myself through all that but do you know what Fox, he had already killed my parents when I was still 14 it was all lies and I never knew."

I laid there in Fox's arms and wept glad I had finally told him.

"Its ok babe it's all over now you were a child for fucks sake; he was the monster that tried to ruin your life. the past is over now Alex no FBI, no Skinner and no Spender, shit Alex there's no longer a reason why we can't be together I love you."

"I love you to fox, this can be our home, just you and me Fox that's all I ever wanted since that first day I met you in college."

"Well babe it took quite a few years, but we made it Alex even with all the odds stacked against us."

"Now that's sorted and we plan to be together can I ask you something."

"Anything Alex."

"Quit the talking and make love to me."

"You always were the pushy one Alex."

THE END

Truth and betrayals

By CarolelaineD


End file.
